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Sleeping Beauty: If you sleep a lot love will find you.

Snow White: Step Mothers are evil and will try to kill you. Eat what you like because even if you die some Necro will find you.

The Little Mermaid: If he doesn't like you for who you are, change everything about yourself. Liars always prosper.

Cinderella: Step Mothers are Evil, as are Step Sisters. The guy won't notice you if you're poor, you need more bling. It is perfectly acceptable to accept gifts from elderly relatives you've never met before if it gets the guy to notice you. Liars always prosper.

Beauty and the Beast: Stockholm Syndrome.

The Hunchback of Notre Dame: No matter how good a person you are, if you have a disability the person you love will go for the pretty guy instead.

Aladdin: The girl won't notice you if you're poor, you need more bling. Liars always prosper.

The Sword in the Stone: If you ever want to do anything other than sit around waiting for love you have to be a guy.